Bowl of Rats Served To Local Woman

When teen karaoke superstar Katie Sith decided to make up a fake story for attention this morning, she never could have anticipated that it would be about being served a hypothetical bowl of rats for breakfast. Normally, she enjoys a lukewarm bowl of instant oatmeal at her desk, but today she decided to take a different approach.

"I never imagined my morning would take such a turn," she shared, wind blowing through her hair like she belonged on the cover of a romance novel, despite being trapped indoors with dead and poorly ventilated air surrounding her. "When I got on Elon Musk's secret underground Hyperloop train connecting LA to New York, all I really had hoped for was a slightly warmer bowl of slightly less instant oatmeal."

The Hyperloop train, achieving speeds high enough to launch Katie a few days into the past, arrived in the French restaurant Balthazar's basement, shortly after the arrival of James Cordone by land boat.

"I think what had happened, was James was so rude that the Mafia front disguised as a restaurant decided to serve him a bowl of New York's finest rats. You can imagine my surprise when it showed up at my table instead."

The waitress, Catherine Zeta-Zoidberg, aged 4, was unavailable for comment. Reports indicate that Katie apologized to Catherine for a mix-up, quite literally saying "I'm sorry, you seem to have brought me sometime else's bowl of rats."

"Sad thing is, I never did get my oatmeal," Katie later lamented.

Sith returned to work by Hyperloop, bringing her back into her proper time on the 20th. When asked if she would put any further effort into expanding on this story, "probably not, I only started it as a joke and it's already been more effort than any joke should be worth. Been a great use of company time though."